Adab, li and hexis: is character trained the same way in three traditions?

When a girl comes to learn batik in my mother's workshop, she doesn't begin by drawing. She begins by preparing cloth, heating wax, watching. She learns how to sit, how to hold the canting, how to speak to the older women. After a year, her hand starts to know things her head can't explain. My mother called this learning adab, proper conduct, and she meant something about character as much as craft.

I've been reading about three traditions that seem to say character is formed this way. Aristotle says we become just by doing just acts, as builders by building; character is a hexis, a settled state formed by habit. Confucian li, ritual propriety, shapes a person through repeated forms of respect in daily life; Xunzi compares it to straightening wood. And in the Islamic tradition, adab means refined conduct, and al-Ghazali wrote at length about training the soul through practice.

I've read the claim that these traditions agree at the practical level even though their views of the soul share almost nothing. But in my workshop I notice that how you are trained depends on what you think the training is for. My mother trained us to be patient because patience pleased God. Would an Aristotelian or Confucian workshop train the same patience?

I'm asking openly. Is the practical agreement real, or only a family resemblance?