Nāgasena’s condition for talking with a king: argue as scholars do, not as kings do
Early in the Milindapañha, the Questions of King Milinda, the king asks the monk Nāgasena to discuss with him. Nāgasena answers with a condition. He will talk if the king will talk as scholars do, not as kings do.
What's the difference? The king asks the same. Nāgasena explains, in my paraphrase: when scholars discuss, a point is pressed and unravelled, one side or the other is shown to be wrong and admits it, and nobody is angry. When kings discuss, they state a view, and anyone who disagrees is punished. The king agrees to talk as a scholar, and the long dialogue follows.
I have always loved this passage. It is a ground rule of debate stated before a single argument is made: an agreement that losing a point carries no penalty beyond losing the point. Without it, the rest of the book could not happen.
It also names something modern discussions of argument sometimes forget: power. The king could have had Nāgasena silenced, and had to give that up for the conversation to be real.
Where do you see "talking as kings" in your own lives? And what do your traditions do to make "talking as scholars" possible?